


Sittin' in a Tree

by hilariousandunappreciated



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 5+1 Fic, American Highschool AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, M/M, Mutual Pining, teen!phan, tw homophobia, tw homophobic slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-01 04:19:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15766473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hilariousandunappreciated/pseuds/hilariousandunappreciated
Summary: The five times Phil wanted to kiss Dan and the one time he finally did.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [332Roses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/332Roses/gifts).



> a/n: I started this fic in response to the dapg Food Fantasy video where Dan teases Phil with “Phil and hamburger sittin' in a tree.” Then I was doubly inspired by @yasaeh who did [this](http://yasaeh.tumblr.com/post/176429640241) v cute phanart. And on top of that, @ratandphilgames wrote [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15505203) sister fic that you should go check out :) Hope you enjoy!  
> Thank you, Karol, for helping me edit this, ily bb :)

 

_Dan and Philly, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G_

1

     This wasn't supposed to happen. Phil wasn't going to get a crush. He was going to make more friends. He was going to get high grades in all his classes. Stay focused on school. Maybe exercise more.

    But of course he had to go and get a crush on his best friend. His best friend who he spent every day with after school. His best friend who paired up with him on every project. His best friend who had silky, dark curls that sometimes fell in his face when he laughed. And his laugh was so infectious and bright and boisterous. His best friend who had sparkling chestnut eyes with amber flecks and miniature crow’s feet that crinkled up when he genuinely smiled. His eyes were pools of dark chocolate that were decorated with long, thick lashes...and his freckles, dusted on his perfect nose and underneath were those soft lips. Or, at least Phil assumed they were soft. Not that he would know. Not that he daydreamed often of their lips meeting finally in one big romantic gesture to say “I have a huge gay crush on you,” because who would do that? And who would get a big stupid crush on their-

     “Phil? Did you even hear my question?”

Dan chuckled. He was sitting close to Phil at the small, round table in the library, looking into Phil's face with an amused expression.

    Phil was so abruptly pulled from his train of thought, he shook his head lightly to dispel the rest of it from his mind. He touched his hand to the back of his neck. Shoot. He did miss Dan's question.

    “Uuh I- umm,” Phil could feel the warmth on his cheeks spreading.

Dan shoved Phil's shoulder,

    “Phiil! You're supposed to be helping me, you spoon!”

The physical contact startled Phil awake enough to truly focus again. For a while at least.

    “Right, right! I am! I'm helping!”

Dan rolled his eyes dramatically,

    “Sure, now which figure of speech is this again?”

Dan shoved the homework sheet towards Phil and he took a moment to read the words on the page.

    “Oh, right! It's um.. onomatopoeia. Written sounds, basically.”

Dan snatched the paper.

    “Pfff I knew _that,”_ and he looked down to write a note on the sheet. His eyes skimmed over his homework and he frowned a little.

Phil smirked,

    “Oh yeah? If you know it so well why are you asking me?” Phil leered a little at Dan's miniature frown.

Dan waved a hand out towards Phil as if to shoo him away.

    “Shut up,” he mumbled, “I _do_ know it.”

Phil knocked their shoulders together,

    “Sure, whatever you say, Danny!”

But Dan didn't retort. He remained with his mouth downturned at his English assignment.

Phil knew this face all too well. It was the whole reason he offered to help Dan with his English homework in the first place. Well, maybe it was also an excuse to hang out with him in the library for half an hour. Dan always spent longer laboring over his essays as well as every grammar assessment. The corners of his mouth would drag down and his brows would cross, and then after some time confusing himself, he would get overwhelmed and exasperated. So Phil, having quite the affinity for English, and being nearly two years older, offered to help.

    “Dan? Are you stuck on something?” Phil gently inquired.

Dan ran his fingers through his wild curls.

    “No, no, I'm fine.” He shook his head.

Phil leaned in, their sides flush against each other, and his hand reached out to touch Dan's knee.

    “Dan,” his hand rested on the fabric of Dan's black jeans, “I can tell you're stuck on something.”

Dan's eyes widened suddenly at how close they were, Phil's palm touching Dan's knee and shoulders connected.

     “It says I have to list examples of each one which, yeah, is probably really easy and I'm just stupid because I can't think of anything and-”

Phil immediately shook his head,

    “No! No you're not stupid! Here, we can do it together!” Phil tried to cut through the thick air between them with his chipper tone. He leaned away, now fiercely aware that he had foolishly stroked Dan's knee. Or at least touched his knee. That was too close. _He's your friend, Phil, not your boyfriend, get that through your thick head._

      Phil cleared his throat, trying to cut down the sudden tension he felt between them.

     “Okay so... what's a good onomatopoeia? How about...um meow?”

Dan scoffed,

    “ _That_ counts? That sounds like a ridiculous answer for a 14-year-old to put on his homework.”

It was Phil's turn to shove Dan a little.

    “Just write it! I'm helping you!” Dan just smirked and clicked his pen,

    “Alright, alright, fine, what else?”

Phil rested his chin in his open palm, elbow digging into the table.

    “You think of one, now.”

Dan's eyes drifted to the upper left in thought.

    “ _Mic-ro-wave_ ,” he dragged out in a high pitch.

Phil giggled,

     “What? Dan, there's no way that's one!”

Dan's voice was shrill,

    “Yes it is! Listen, listen,”

Phil tilted his ear toward Dan in mock attention. “ _Mi-cro-wave_ , see?” Dan's eyebrows raised in earnest question, searching Phil's eyes for approval.

Phil couldn't hold it in, a laugh broke out from his chest and he covered his mouth to try and silence himself. He clutched his belly with the other hand.

    “Dan!” He could hardly talk in between giggles, “that is most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!” Phil squeaked. “Wha- wha-” he couldn't stop himself, “what does _that_ mean?”

Dan looked back at a nearly doubled-over Phil with an offended look,

    “It _is_ !,” he squealed, “it is _too_ an onomatopoeia!” He shoved Phil in the chest this time, and was surprised when he felt Phil's hands shoving him back playfully.

    “That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard!” His hands moved to Dan's shoulders, shoving him back again just before Dan reached over to poke Phil's stomach.

     “Ah! Dan! No!” Phil giggled through each word. They poked and shoved at each other, receiving a handful of disapproving looks from other students. But neither of them had noticed. They were too absorbed in each other.

    Finally, Phil surrendered and both boys quieted, laughter dying down, but sitting even closer than they had before. Dan's face looked up at Phil's and suddenly Phil found himself frozen. The air between them was still and Phil could have reached out and grabbed the tension from it with his hand. They leaned into each other, chairs pushed together. Dan's breaths ticked Phil's face and Phil stared down into his darkened irises. Phil swallowed as the realization hit him. Dan's lips were just a few inches away, and they were gently parted and so pink… Phil leaned his forehead down, nearly touching their noses. If he just leaned a little bit more…

    “Young men!” A stern voice frightened them apart, both Dan and Phil scooting away from each other at the reprimanding tone. Phil looked up to see a rather tall woman in a tweed skirt, red lipstick on her thin lips hard set in a straight line, wrinkles around her eyes deepening at her expression. Her hands were on her hips.

    “This is the _library_ , I expect respect and quiet here!” The tall woman scolded. Dan's head bowed in embarrassment. Phil nodded,

    “Sorry, Mrs. Hendrikson.” He knew she was the most strict of any of the librarians here. He hoped an immediate apology would mitigate the situation.

     “Sorry,” Dan mumbled, barely audible.

Mrs. Hendrikson huffed, “If I hear you two making a racket again, I'm sending you to detention!”

    Phil didn't dare look back at Dan until he heard the click of heels walking away. As soon as the librarian was far enough away, Phil glanced up at Dan, who was surprisingly, already looking at Phil. Phil's cheeks felt warm under Dan's intense gaze. As soon as they made eye contact again, they snickered, trying to contain their giggles.

   As Phil walked home that day, he silently resented Mrs. Hendrikson for interrupting them. Maybe if he would've leaned in just two inches more… but no, there's no way that Dan would kiss him back anyway. Right?

2

Dan and Phil were practically inseparable from day one. It was a new semester, and the moment Phil walked into his art classroom he noticed the new boy cowering in the corner, dark as night jeans, tattered jacket and white t-shirt. His curls were dishevelled from him nervously running his fingers through them and Phil watched as the boy tapped at his desk in anticipation. Of course, Phil also noticed he was extremely cute, but as he strolled toward the anxious new kid, he shoved that thought down and sat right next to him, thinking that maybe an upperclassman like him could help a new freshman like Dan.

    And that's how it all began, they connected like wildfire, a friendship sparking and Phil always offering to help while Dan helped Phil with his tragically undeveloped art skills, though neither of them really wanted to be in the class. Although Dan was younger, he related to Phil more than he related to any of his old friends.

    When their art teacher asked the entire class to partner up for a project, there was no question that Dan and Phil would gravitate to each other. They worked together on everything: each school project and any paired assignment, and seeing as the teacher didn't particularly mind and they always received good grades, the pattern continued.

      Phil glanced over at Dan, their eyes meeting in mutual agreement. Neither of them were artists, but at least together they could manage. Phil felt like he and Dan could do everything together. Well, almost everything. Kissing and cuddling and holding hands didn't count. Phil tried to push the feelings down but he couldn't help thinking of what that would be like. Holding Dan in his arms and being allowed to kiss his cheek. Or reach over and lace their fingers together. But Dan was his best friend and if there was one thing Phil wouldn't do it was ruin their friendship.

    Phil scooted his desk towards Dan's.

    “So, we could start on this today? You can come to my house after school. Trust me, my mom has enough art supplies to fill an entire room. It'll be easy.”

Dan's eyes sparkled, amber flashing beneath the deep irises. Phil sighed.

    “Sure! I'll sketch something out now and we can work on it later!” Dan's eyes were fixed on Phil the entire time he spoke, and Phil had to look down, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart.

    “Yeah,” Phil answered a little quieter, “yeah, sounds good.” He smiled softly up at Dan.

Phil couldn't help but smile at him a little longer. Dan was wearing a slate jumper, long sleeves cascading down his arms and swallowing his hands in those sweater paws. Dan wasn't short by any means but the sweater dwarfed him, drowning his soft middle in knitted fabric and he looked so warm. What Phil wouldn't give to wrap his arms around Dan and pull him close.

    “Phil? You alright?” Dan's voice cut through the daydream.

Phil nodded his head perhaps too vigorously to be normal,

    “Yep! I'm great!” And he turned his head back towards the front of the classroom, doing his best the rest of the hour to glue his eyes to the wall instead of Dan.

~~~

    Phil watched Dan sit at his round dining room table as he walked in with a basket full of paints and his hands full with paper, glue, and a jar of paintbrushes. He had only asked his mom for a few things, but of course she became so enthusiastic that she shoved as much supplies into his arms as she could.

    Dan's eyes grew wide as he observed Phil stumble in, arms full, peering over the pile of stuff in order to see where he was going. Dan stood and rushed to the doorway.

    “Phil, are you sure you don't need help?”

Phil did his best to shake his head back and forth. But his body teetered back a little, prompting Dan to reach out as if he were to catch him.

    “No, really, Dan I'm _fine_.” With that, Phil miraculously made it to the table and set everything down in one heap.

    Dan, still looking concerned, walked back and took a seat, surveying the heap of art supplies.

    “Jesus,” Dan muttered under his breath, and then, “Phil you _do_ know we don't need all this?”

Phil let out a breath,

    “Yeah, tell that to my mom.”

Dan ignored Phil's remark and immediately began going to work organizing and sorting things that they actually needed. Phil watched as he straightened each stack of papers and lined the paint bottles meticulously. Everything had an order and a place in Dan's mind. Phil wished that he had a place in Dan's mind other than just “friend.”

    Dan began giving instructions,

    “So, I was thinking we'd go with black, white, and red, yeah? And then it'll look more put together.” Dan didn't even look up. As he talked, he pushed three paint bottles and a paper plate toward Phil in silent instruction to measure out each color. Phil did his best to keep his focus from Dan, popping the cap off each paint bottle and pouring a generous amount of white, black, and red in their respective places. He felt Dan's eyes glancing at him suddenly, probably checking to see that his clumsy best friend wouldn't splatter paint everywhere somehow.

    “I'm _not_ going to spill it, Dan,” Phil assured, slightly annoyed at Dan's silent accusation. He could usually tell what his best friend was thinking.

Dan's brows raised,

    “I didn't say anything!” His shrill voice sounded through the dining room.

Phil deadpanned.

    “But you were going to. Because I know you. And I know that I am _not_ going to spill it, _okay?_ ”

Dan sighed and looked back down at his current task.

    “Whatever you say, Phillie,” his taunting tone jeered at Phil. But Phil knew Dan had to be kidding, so he just chuckled softly and let it go, reaching over to grab a paintbrush.

    And then it all happened in slow motion.

Phil wasn't sure how it happened, the same way he was never sure how any of his accidents happen. In the process of reaching out to the middle of the table, the plate filled to the brim with paint flipped off of the table.

Just like a movie, paint splatters dramatically flew into the air between Dan and Phil, black white and red splotches threatening to soil any surface, plate turning upside down and finally reaching its destination- splat down onto the carpet underneath the table.

    Phil squeezed his eyes shut in the wake of his small tragedy, not wanting to survey the damage done quite yet. But Dan's voice broke through his denial,

    “Fuck! Phil!” Dan shrieked, eyes like saucers and mouth agape.

Phil opened his eyes to oversee the damage. He first thought was that it was bad. His second thought was how much his mom would scold him later for this. Not to mention what his dad would say. _Stupid, dumb, Phil you can't ever do anything right, especially not in front of-_

    Dan continued muttering curses as he stood in search of paper towels, a sponge, a cloth, anything to mop up this mess.

Phil still sat in his chair, stunned, wincing at his own damn clumsiness. He sputtered at the mess until a soft object hit him right on top of the head, Dan's giggle sounding in the background.

    “I didn't mean to hit you!” Dan laughed, “but then again, you kind of deserve it,” he finished with a shrug.

Phil smirked and turned to grab the roll from the floor, kneeling down to wipe up the paint carnage. He thought it looked a bit like a murder scene, with red splattered all over the floor. Why did he always knock things over and trip over everything? It always made him look dumb, especially in front of Dan.

    Soon enough, Dan was kneeling, as well, doing his best to wipe black and red spots from the carpet and hoping he wasn't getting any on his jeans. Both of them spotted a stray dollop of paint right in front of them, both silently darting to get it, but moving so close that their foreheads came in contact with each other, bone hitting bone. The hit was so hard you could almost hear it, and Phil retracted his face as quickly as possible.

    “Ow,” they whispered in unison, rubbing their heads where the sore spot was.

    That's when Phil noticed what he should have seen before. A large black blob appeared on Dan's gray sweater, a spot that, of course, had not been there before, and seemed to have already soaked into the fabric. Phil's eyes searched the spot, guilt seeping into his veins and making his hands shake. Dan finally noticed him staring.

    “What?” Dan inquired loudly.

Phil sucked in a breath,

    “Oh, I'm sorry, Dan,” Phil shook his head, “I'm really sorry.”

Dan blinked back at him,

    “I don't see why you're saying sorry to me, really your mom is gonna be the issue but-” and then he noticed, as he looked over to see Phil shuffling closer to him and pointing to his middle.

Dan looked down and saw the offending splotch. He mumbled under his breath,

    “And this was new, dammit, Phil,” but he wasn't really mad and Phil hadn't heard him. But before he could express this, Phil was already at his side, frantically trying to dab at the stained fabric. He uttered panicked little sentences,

    “Here let me- oh my god Dan, I'm really sorry- I didn't mean to- I'm just so clumsy and I didn't mean-”

     “Phil!” And as Phil looked up, Dan placed a hand on his shoulder. The touch burned through Phil's t-shirt. “Phil, it's alright, it's-” but Dan paused as both of them realized how close they were, Dan's hand cupping Phil's shoulder and Phil's hands gripping the hem of Dan's sweater. If anyone else were to walk in, it would have looked suspicious. Phil swallowed hard. Again he was face to face with his crush, a boy who had captivated him from day one, a boy whose lips would be so soft to touch, whose hands would be so warm to hold. But he couldn't ruin this. Not when he finally had a best friend that actually wanted to spend time with him. He cleared his throat.

    “Um yeah so,” Phil leaned away and stood, “I'll get..uh I'll get something else to clean this up.” And as Phil turned to walk out of the room he was kicking himself. _Coward coward coward._

3

Dan walked home with Phil after school every day. Dan would go outside after school and lean against the fence, scrolling on his phone until Phil got out of class and met him there. They always talked about music and video games and books they loved reading and all the jerks at school that made them angry. Phil decided he could talk to Dan for an eternity. Listening to how passionate he was for all the things he loved made Phil's chest twinge and his heart speed up. More often than not, Dan did most of the talking, simply because anything he liked he dove into the deep end with. Dan studied and researched and immersed himself completely in anything he cared about. And it made Phil smile to know what a passionate person Dan was. He didn't mind staying quiet, nodding and humming in approval and smiling softly while Dan rambled about his current obsession. As long as Phil could spend time with Dan.

     Phil's house was just a few blocks from the school, a neat, clean little house in the suburbs that his mom picked out especially for their nuclear family. But the only downside was the hill. To get to Phil's house, he and Dan had to trudge up the hill past the school, walking up the steep road to get to the first neighborhood they had to cross. It was what Phil would call “treacherous,” and he dreaded it every single day. But at least Dan's rants could ease the focus Phil normally had on trekking up the steep incline.

    Phil heard the bell ring and bolted out of his classroom as fast as he could, practically running down the hall to get to his locker. Dan promised to tell him all about the new video game he got, promising it was the best he had played yet. Phil hoped Dan would invite him over to play it. They always got a little flirty when they were competitive, and it filled Phil's head with a rush. He knew it couldn't be real, but at least he could dream in the moment.

    Phil slung his backpack over his shoulder and walked towards their meeting spot, already seeing a tall, awkward form leaning against the wood fence, thumb swiping at the screen on his phone. Phil tried to sneak up behind him, thinking maybe this time he could get Dan back for all the times he startled Phil.

    “Rraaah!” Phil yelled behind Dan's ear, hoping to elicit at least a small jump.

But Dan stood still, giving Phil no reaction except to casually turn around, pocketing his phone, and raising one eyebrow at him.

    “Really, Phil? You know I have nerves of steel.” Dan's face remained slightly annoyed, but a smile creeped up on his lips, corners turned upward ever so slightly. Phil stomped his foot.

    “Ugh Dan! How do you _never_ get scared?” And he joined Dan's side as they began making the trip to Phil's house.

Dan let out a breathy laugh,

    “Nerves of steel! I told you!”

Phil snickered,

    “I don't believe 'nerves of steel’ for one second, there's got to be something.”

Dan protested,

    “Nope!” as he ran in front of Phil, “never gonna get me!”

    “Hey!” Phil called out as Dan teasingly jogged away from him, reaching the base of the dreaded hill. “Last one to get to the top loses!” Dan called behind him, eyes burning with competitive energy and sparkling with mischief.

    Dan definitely wasn't a runner, but he was slightly more athletic than Phil, and usually didn't have much of a problem going up the hill. And he seemed to be doing just fine now, racing up it to beat Phil. Phil knew Dan was the most competitive between them, but Phil could feel that spark when Dan was around.

    He sprung into action the best he could, jogging up the hill as he watched Dan get away from him, giggles ringing like a song in Phil's ears. Phil knew Dan would win. He always won, whether by his own volition or when Phil let him. He liked to see Dan win, even if he did gloat a bit much.

    Phil's legs struggled to get him up the hill, lungs suddenly burning. _Oh_ _no_. This was a bad idea. Phil's knees ached and he could feel his stomach drop, each muscle protesting every bit of jogging he tried to do to catch up with Dan.

    Suddenly, Phil felt his toe catch on the asphalt. He didn't even know if anything was there for his foot to snag on, but before he could stop himself, his long body was hurling to the ground. Phil squeezed his eyes shut and put his hands out to catch himself, tumbling to the ground in a grand display of clumsiness. His palms scraped against the asphalt, stinging into his skin. Phil couldn't tell where Dan was, but it wasn't very close, and his head was fuzzy from the long fall. Somewhere around his knees he felt a dull pain, and as he tried to help himself up, his shoulders ached.

_You stupid idiot, why'd you have to go and do that?_

    Phil scrambled to get up, face flaming from embarrassment. But in his fuzzy mind, he didn't notice Dan jog back to his side. Phil blinked hard as he felt a hand on his shoulder. A voice broke through the static in his ears and the thumping of his heart,

    “Phil, _oh my god_ , you okay?”

Phil attempted to stand again, brushing the dirt from his scraped palms. But as he put pressure on his left leg, a pain shot through his ankle and he stumbled again. Before he made it to the ground, a pair of lean arms caught him around the waist.

    “Oh shit, you're actually hurt, here, um,” Dan adjusted to sling an arm around Phil's shoulders as he leaned all of his weight on his right leg. Phil's skin seemed to ignite at each place Dan's hands made contact with, embarrassment still sinking in his stomach along with the butterflies. He didn't want Dan to have to help him after a silly fall. Phil was just a little clumsy, that's all. Okay, _a lot_ clumsy. He tried to shrug Dan's arm from his shoulders.

    “Dan, I'm fine, it was just a-” but as he tried to take a step forward, his ankle gave out, nearly throwing him to the ground again. A warm hand reached out and grabbed his wrist.

    “Phil, you dork, let me help you! I don't think you're gonna wanna put weight on that for a while.”

     Dan looked up at Phil. His voice tried to lighten the atmosphere, but Dan's face was riddled with concern. He still hadn't let go of Phil's wrist. Phil finally looked down at Dan, observing his expression and the words sinking in. _Dan is going to have to be this close to me now the whole way home because of my stupid ankle and now how am I going to deny any feelings?_

Phil shook his head, noticing Dan's long fingers were still wrapped around his wrist in a gentle grip.

    “Dan, I'm-” but he couldn't finish. Dan was so close, his hand holding on to Phil's, face full of concern and his eyes inviting and lips pouting a little. Phil found himself glancing from Dan's eyes to his lips and soon enough he was full-on staring again. He should just do it. He should just lean in and seal the deal. He should just go against everything his brain was screaming at him not to do.

    “Uh so-” Dan's voice cracked and he cleared his throat, “I can help you walk the rest of the way home, I guess.”

Phil's daydream ridden mind was shattered. Right. Walking home. They were just friends. No kissing allowed.

    “Right, thanks,” Phil mumbled, allowing Dan's arm to wrap around his shoulders once again, stumbling the best way he could up the remainder of the incline.

4

    “You're going because I said so and I'm not gonna let you sit inside this house all summer!” Kath’s voice sounded firm against her normally sweet and radiant tone. She stood in front of Phil lounging on the couch, hand on one hip, sporting a disapproving frown. Phil sighed,

    “But Mom, I-” he protested.

    “I'm not giving you the option, hun. You need sunshine.”

Phil finally stood to walk out of the room. His mom called after him,

    “And don't forget sunscreen! You're paler than the moon!”

    Phil stomped up the stairs to his bedroom, making his way to his dresser, plucking his swim trunks out of the drawer, and slamming it shut. He hated the summer heat. He hated the sticky air and the sweating and every piece of fabric clinging to his thin body. Phil didn't understand why he couldn't just stay in the air conditioning and read or play video games. But his mom was forcing him to go to the pool, just walking distance from his house. Well, according to Kath it was. It was over a mile, but she considered that to be a reasonable stroll. And besides, she was always telling Phil he needed to get out more and exercise.

    Phil hesitantly stepped back down the stairs, head hung a little. He would have to walk with the sun sizzling onto his back and go to the public pool- crowds of people and kids screaming and dirty dressing rooms- Phil shuddered just thinking about it. His yellow swim trunks hung loosely on his hips and he pulled a white t-shirt over his torso. Then he had a thought: if he had to drag himself to the pool, then he would drag Dan with him. At least Dan could make the experience somewhat bearable.

    Phil half-jogged to the front door before his mom called out,

    “Do you have sunscreen? And you'll need to bring a towel!” How did she hear everything throughout the house, knowing that Phil was about to walk out the door without sunscreen?

She appeared in the lounge with beach towel in one hand and a bottle of sunblock (most likely 100 SPF, knowing her) in the other. Phil rolled his eyes but then was suddenly met by a towel flying toward his face, and he scrambled to grab it before it landed. Then Kath took a step forward and tossed the bottle to him, smirk on her concerned mother face. Phil tried to catch that one, too, but it hit him on the arm and tumbled to the ground. He couldn't do anything involving any sort of sporting skill. He sighed as he bent over to pick up the sunscreen.

    “Have fun!” And his mom waved a hand over her shoulder as she turned to walk away. Phil reluctantly stepped out the front door, meeting his balmy summer afternoon doom.

    Soon enough, Phil had made it to Dan's front door, just a block from his house and raised a hand to knock when the door was pulled open. Phil took a step back in surprise, then looked up to meet whoever had opened it. His eyes met warm, drowsy ones, curls pushed into a bedhead style, eyelids puffy and blinking back at Phil with half-moon eyes. Phil shifted from one foot to the other. Did he wake Dan up? But it was around 1pm? And Dan somehow knew he was at the door? Was he alright? But God, he somehow looked really cute even like this.

    “I saw you from my bedroom window,” Dan finally explained. His voice was a little gravelly. Phil shifted uncomfortably again,

    “Did I wake you…?” Phil trailed off.

Dan rubbed a fist to his eye like a toddler after a nap and emitted a small yawn. Phil tried not to stare. He tried every time they were together but it never seemed to work. Dan shook his head,

    “Not really, I'm just tired. As usual.” Dan let out an empty chuckle to try and lighten up.

    “Hey so-”

    “Yeah?” Dan's voice was a little clearer now.

    “My mom is making me go to the pool and I really don't want to go but I thought,” he dug his foot into the porch, “I would drag you with me to make it more bearable I guess.” Phil's voice drew quiet the more he spoke and he looked down. He wasn't even sure if Dan wanted to _be_ with him. _Wait_ . _Go_ with him. Go with him to the pool. After hearing no response for a couple of long seconds, Phil looked up and found Dan staring at him. He was taken aback by the intense look Dan was giving him, like through his dark irises he could send a message to Phil's mind. Dan looked so sincere, like he was considering deeply what Phil said. And yet Phil thought he saw a flicker of… sadness? Or regret? But he wasn't about to question it.

    “Um, Dan?”

    Dan seemed to snap out of a trance.

    “Right, yeah, sure I'll go.” Phil sighed in relief and stepped inside to accompany Dan as he got ready. They walked to Dan's room and as Phil looked up to say something to fill the silence, Dan reached back to pull his t-shirt from his shoulders and it ruffled his curls as it passed over his head. Phil's cheeks immediately pinked at the sight of a shirtless Dan. They had seen each other shirtless before, especially in the summertime with the heat and being made to go outside, but Phil had just watched Dan take his shirt off. That was a completely different experience. He stared as the muscles of Dan's shoulders shifted and his arms flexed a little, lightly tanned skin smooth all across his back. Phil's eyes were wide as plates. He stopped at Dan's bedroom door frame. Maybe it would be best if Phil just waited outside the door.

    “Um yeah so I'll just,” Phil's thumb directed behind him. Dan turned around. God, he looked good.

    “Oh! Yeah sure,” and Dan turned to rummage through his dresser for a swimsuit. Phil shut the door behind him and went to work spreading sunscreen on his arms and face.

    A minute later, Dan emerged from his bedroom, gray swim shorts donned and curls slightly more controlled. He had rubbed most of the sleep out of his eyes and he smiled at Phil.

    “Making sure you won't burn to a crisp out there?” He smirked. That was more Dan. Not lethargic, spaced out Dan.

Phil swatted at him, white cream still covering his hands. Dan jumped back,

     “Hey!” And his melodious giggle made Phil smile warmly. He would never tire of that sound. Phil handed him the bottle.

    “I know you're tan already, but if you get sunburned my mom will blame me.” Dan shook his head, dimples peeking out from his cheeks.

    “Kath worries too much. I'll be fine.” Phil wanted to retaliate, but looking at Dan's golden skin, dimples accenting his bright smile, shirtless and beautiful in front of him, he was somehow at a loss for words. He grabbed the bottle and reached to cover his shoulders with the offending 100 SPF. Was he _really_ _that_ pale? Oh well.

    Dan watched in silent amusement as Phil tried to reach the middle of his back, white streaks all over his shoulders and sides. Dan snorted.

    “Phil,” his giggles interrupted for a moment, “Phil do you- _hee hee_ \- do you need help?”

Phil's eyes shot up.

    “What?”

Dan's head shook again in a quiet fondness.

    “Do you want help?”

Phil could only blink back at him. Help? As in…? Dan- Dan helps him put on sunscreen?

   Before Phil got a hold of his thoughts, Dan stepped closer, standing behind him and tentatively reaching out. Phil held his breath. Dan's fingertips lightly touched the center of Phil's back, as if he was afraid to even touch Phil. But a second later, Dan was gently rubbing sunscreen into Phil's back and Phil couldn't breathe.

     Everything in his body tensed up and he squeezed his eyes shut. Why would Dan do that? Did he really have to insist on “helping?” He wasn't helping. This was making things worse. Phil now knew what it felt like to have Dan's hands on his bare skin and it made everything worse. They were _friends._ And _only_ friends. Phil was going to ruin all of this if he couldn't get over this stupid crush. _Shit_. He wanted to crawl in a corner and push Dan away. He wanted to push and push until Dan would just leave him alone already but they were best friends and he didn't know what he would do without him. Phil wanted to scream.

    In the midst of Phil's thoughts, Dan had already stopped, though he had one hand still resting on Phil's shoulder blade. Phil felt as if Dan's hand print would burn a hole into Phil's skin with how warm the touch became. Phil could feel every nerve in his body. His breathing couldn't keep up. He wondered what was going through Dan's mind. Probably nothing like this. Phil sucked in a breath, trying to hide the fact that his cheeks were on fire and the skin on his back where Dan's hand touched sizzled. He fought and fought but Phil couldn't shake Dan.

   He whipped around, anything to get Dan's palm off of him. Not that he _wanted_ it off of him, but that he couldn't stand this feeling anymore. Phil heard a little gasp from Dan as his body turned to face him. The air sparked, tense silence charging the space between them. Dan looked up at Phil, a look of confusion and something else Phil couldn't read. Phil looked into the sweet, honey warmth of his eyes and leaned in, and if he didn't know any better, he could have sworn Dan leaned in, too. Phil felt the butterflies flutter to his chest, until a weight dropped to his stomach. _No._ _No no no_. _I can't. I can't do this to him_. Phil leaned back again, bashfully glancing down. He took a step back.

    “Phil-” Dan started, but couldn't get any further as Phil cut him off.

    “Anyway! Let's go, Dan!” Phil's voice wavered despite his best attempt to keep it level. He briskly paced to the door and stepped out, Dan doting behind him.

    The tension never left them the entire walk to the pool.

5

    Something was wrong. The entire first week of school, Dan remained quiet on their walks home. He was normally quiet in class, but never around Phil. Phil could depend on listening to Dan's rants the entire way to his house; it made the time go by. But the past week, Dan was silent. He didn't talk about anything. His eyes didn't light up. His cheeks didn't flush in excitement. His smile didn't widen and dimples mark his cheeks. It was completely unlike him.

    Phil did his best to offer any subject of interest, a joke, a question. But Dan would give a flat answer, corners of his mouth turning up slightly at Phil's jokes without any actual laughter. Phil's heart sank each time. His chest ached for Dan. All he wanted was for Dan to be happy. And to be himself again.

    “What's wrong?” Phil's voice was soft; he lowered it, afraid Dan would be annoyed at Phil for even asking. Dan just blinked slowly.

    “I'm just tired.”

Phil hummed in acknowledgement. It was the same answer Dan always used when he was trying to pretend that everything was okay. Phil knew him too well. But instead of protesting, Phil left it alone. They walked to Phil's house in uneasy silence.

~~~

    Another week went by this way. Phil's mind attacked him with panicked thoughts. Was Dan okay? Did Phil do something wrong? Maybe Dan hated him now. Maybe he said something to offend him. Did he even want to be friends anymore? _Great, now your best friend is gonna ditch you because you said something wrong, as usual._ He couldn't lose Dan. He was his best friend, romantic feelings aside. And Phil had never had a proper best friend before. What would he do without him? He would be alone again. Alone and the loser with no friends.

    The bell rang sharply, startling Phil from his spiral of thoughts. He blinked hard. He had nearly forgotten where he was or what he was supposed to be doing. His thought spirals and daydreaming often distracted him from his actual schoolwork. One stray thought and suddenly the sound of the teacher's voice faded into the background and the voice in his mind took over. This time was no different. Especially when it concerned Dan.

    Phil plucked his bright green and blue backpack from under his desk and slung a strap over one shoulder. He was in no hurry to meet an empty and voiceless Dan. It had been weeks. And each day Phil had to face a walk home with anxious air between them and a mind that betrayed him with panicked thoughts. Today was just another one of those. Phil dreaded it now. Where he used to rush to meet Dan at the fence, he now trudged down the hall, backpack hanging off one side and posture crumpled in defeat. His feet dragged on the tile, reaching the front door and reluctantly pushing it open.

    Phil's head hung as he walked outside, but decided to look up just to make sure Dan would be there, even though he always was. But instead of the usual tall figure slouching against the wood fence, he saw three boys standing there, backs to him. Their voices were raucous, sharp tones breaking through the bumble of voices from other students. Phil immediately stood at attention. This was wrong. He had seen those boys before, but never after school. And especially not in Dan and Phil’s meeting place.

    “Fucking gaylord!” A booming voice, coming from the tallest boy, Phil guessed, sounded across the yard.

And then Phil saw him. His heart immediately sank to the pit of his stomach.

    Dan had been pushed to the ground, papers and books dumped next to him, eyes white in frozen fear and desperately trying to pick up his school work from the damp ground. Phil felt a lump in his throat. _Oh no. No no no no no no. This was not happening. Not to Dan. Not to his Dan._ Phil wanted to run over and scream at them to stop it. To leave him alone. He wanted to be the big, bad tough guy. Instead he was paralyzed. His legs were lead and he watched as his best friend was reduced to a helpless little boy.

    All three boys laughed.

    “You're fucking pathetic, Howell, you know that? You think you're so goddamned smart.” Another joined in,

    “You piece of shit, you absolute fuck. I wish you would just die already.”

Phil ached to move. The tallest boy laughed again,

    “Look at you, fucking fag, trying to pick up all your precious books. You wish you were smart enough to read those. Instead you're a pathetic little twink.” And as he finished the sentence, Phil's eyes widened in horror as the boy's foot came down full force on one of Dan's hands as he reached out to grab another paper. Dan cried out in pain, drawing his hand to his chest. Tears welled up in his eyes.

    “Dan!” Phil couldn't help but to call to him. _Fuck. This is bad_.

Dan's chestnut eyes met Phil's, but in place of their golden warmth, Phil found an empty fear and sadness. A dark, cavernous waste. A look in Dan's eyes that Phil never wanted to see again.

   As soon as Phil's voice escaped his throat, three heads whipped around and glared at him. _Shit_.

   “Howell’s got a boyfriend, huh?”

Dan dejectedly shook his head. Phil felt as if his heart would shatter. _Boyfriend._ He wouldn't be Dan's boyfriend. It would never happen.

   “You got your boyfriend to come and protect you? Huh, gaylord? Because you're too fuckin pathetic to do it yourself?” A boy to the left taunted him.

Tears threatened to fall on Dan's paled face. He shook his head again, and then, softly,

   “No,” he sounded exhausted, “no we're not- we're not dating.” All three boys turned on him.

    “Whatever you say, Howell. We'll leave you to your _boyfriend_ so he can pick your pathetic ass up off the floor.” Two of the boys turned to leave, but before they walked away, the biggest one looked backed to Phil with a smirk before kicking his foot into Dan's stomach. Dan yelled from the immense pain. _Fuck. Shit. No no no no._

    “See how well you can get up now, you fucking bitch.” And the boy laughed maniacally as he followed his friends.

    Phil felt like a failure. He should have done something. He should have known something was up. He should have told those bullies to fuck off. _Anything_ . Anything so that Dan didn't have to go through that. But he was too weak to fight. _Stupid. Stupid, you stupid, horrible friend._

    As soon as the boys were some distance away, Phil sprinted to Dan, who was lying on the damp grass clutching his middle, face pale as the moon and books still scattered around him. Phil reached him, panting, and immediately crouched to his level. Seeing Dan this way, Phil wanted to cry. It wasn't fair. Why would anyone treat such a lovely person like that? Dan was brilliant. And kind. And sweet. And he didn't deserve to be treated like trash. Phil swallowed. Hard.

   “Why didn't you tell me?” he whispered.

Dan winced and rolled over. No answer.

Phil sighed. Of course. He wasn't going to answer. Dan was in pain and he hadn't answered for weeks, why did Phil expect that he would say something now?

    Phil left it alone for the moment, locating Dan's black bag and placing the remainder of papers and textbooks inside, being careful not to wrinkle the pages.

Dan hadn't moved. Phil sat watching him for a moment before Dan even made a sound. A weak groan emitted from Dan's lips. Phil’s heart broke a little more. Phil reached out and touched Dan's arm, feather light.

   “Dan? Are you-” well _obviously_ he wasn't okay, “Dan, do you need- can I help you get up?”

Dan groaned again, rolling over to face Phil. He nodded ever so slightly.

    “Oh, okay, well,” and Phil, awkwardly trying to stand, went to grab Dan's hand. Dan winced again. _Oh shit that's the hand that-_ Phil shook his head.

    “Okay, sorry sorry um, can you sit up?” Dan looked up at him, eyes glassy and pleading. Eventually he sat up, but not without groaning and scrunching his face up. Phil couldn't help but ramble in his anxious state.

   “Right okay okay good um now oh what do I do um,” Phil leaned down and wrapped an arm around Dan's waist. He felt Dan shiver. That's when he realized that Dan was trembling. And Phil was, too. Phil did his best to pull Dan up without touching any of his injuries. Phil wanted to be gentle. As gentle as he could be. More so than he's ever been in his life. Stroking a rose petal, holding a brand new puppy, giving butterfly kisses on cheeks. He knew that he was clumsy and usually didn't do things right, but Dan was so important to him. He couldn't mess this up. And he certainly didn't want to make it worse.

    Phil reached his left hand out to grab Dan's. Dan mumbled something and in Phil's concentration, he missed what what was said.

   “What? What is it, Dan?” Phil's face was ridden with concern. Dan took a shaky breath.

   “I was scared.” Phil's hand gently held Dan's, thumb subconsciously brushing strokes on the back of his hand.

    “Well yeah, I would have been terrified I mean I was terrified just seeing that and I was so worried I am so worried and-”

    “Phil!” Dan spoke more clearly. But he winced as he raised his voice.

Phil's eyes widened at the outburst.

  “Phil, I didn't tell you- because I was scared.” Phil didn't understand. Scared? Scared of what?

   “I was worried that-” his voice cracked, “I was worried that you wouldn't want to-” Phil released Dan's waist to face him, but set his hands on Dan's arms, thumbs doing that thing again. He didn't mean to, he just cared too much.

   “Wouldn't want to…?”

Dan couldn't find it in him to look up.

   “Phil, I'm pathetic. I'm such a loser and I just figured if you found out how stupid I am then you would leave me,” Dan cleared his throat, “I mean, that you would find better friends and not-” his voice broke again and tears began to drop onto his cheeks.

Phil wanted to cry, too.

   “ _Oh, Dan,”_ was all Phil could manage to say. He looked down at Dan. His face was flushed now, rosy patches blotching the smooth skin, tears now shining in the apples of his cheeks. His lashes clung together from the moisture and Phil could tell he wouldn't be able to talk much anymore. He looked too broken. A version of Dan that Phil was afraid of. Because he couldn't fix it but he wanted nothing more than to fix it.

    Without thinking any better of it, Phil's hand came up and ghosted Dan's cheek. He wanted to kiss the tears away. He wanted to plant his lips on the rosy patch on Dan's left cheek. He wanted to whisper into his ear that it was going to be okay. He wanted to hold Dan until the shaking stopped. But he thought of, instead, an alternative that would be acceptable.

    “Dan?” Dan finally looked up, eyes bloodshot, nose rosy, cheeks tear-stained, and Phil still thought he was the cutest boy he had ever seen.

    “Dan, I'm going to call my mom to come pick us up, alright?” Dan leaned into Phil, making it hard for him to breathe normally. Dan's voice came out shy and small.

    “Okay,” but before Phil could make a move to grab his phone, Dan's arms had wrapped around Phil’s shoulders in a hug. His face hid in the crook of Phil's neck and Phil allowed him to melt against his body, glad for the contact but less than thrilled with the circumstances. Dan's trembling frame steadied against Phil's and both of them sighed into the embrace. They stood there for a minute too long and when they finally broke apart, Phil's heart longed for the contact again.

    During the drive to Phil's house, Dan remained pressed to Phil's side, both boys trying to steady their breathing. Phil's heart ached more than it ever had before.

+

1

    The first time they climbed the tree in Phil's backyard was the spring after they met. It was the weekend, and Phil had been sulking over his feelings for Dan when suddenly Dan showed up at the door. Phil wouldn't admit to being upset, but he knew Dan could sense something. They made their way to the backyard, bored out of their minds.

    “You reckon we can climb it?”

    “What?” Phil turned to see Dan already gripping at a branch to pull himself up.

    “C'mon, Phil, haven't you ever tried to climb this before?” He huffed a little as he placed his foot on the next notch in the trunk.

Phil dug his foot into the dirt.

    “When I was little, yeah. But not after I fell and broke my arm. I'm too clumsy to be climbing up there.” Phil heard a scuffle and looked up to see Dan had nearly slipped.

    “Dan! Be careful!”

    “It's _fine_ , c'mon follow me up, I'll show you how I got here.” Sure enough, Dan had made it to a low-hanging broad branch, swinging his legs underneath him and steadying himself with one hand on the trunk. Phil was scared, but if Dan could do it, so could he. Plus, Dan was gonna guide him. He trusted Dan more than anyone in the world.

    Phil managed to get stable footing as Dan pointed to each place to grab and step, pulling himself to the branch eventually and sidling up next to Dan.

    “Hey, I've got an idea.” Dan's eyes flashed mischief, but Phil asked anyway,

    “What's that?”

Dan bumped their shoulders together.

    “Whenever either of us is feeling bad, we meet here. And we can climb up and away from our problems and forget about them. Up here, it's like they don't matter.”

Phil was entranced with Dan's mind. He always had a different way of looking at things.

    “Deal.” Phil nodded, and soon enough he forgot his dilemma with Dan as they both got absorbed in a conversation of other worlds and problems not of their own.

~~~

    It happened again. The week after the first incident, Phil walked out of the school to meet Dan and saw two tall and broad boys walking away from him. He was crouched over and picking up books and papers from the muddy puddle they had been subjected to. _No no no no not again_. Phil hated running but he ran to Dan as fast as he could without tripping on himself, immediately dropping to his knees to help. Most of Dan's papers were ruined, though at least most of his books were salvageable. But if any of these papers or notes were important, Dan would surely have to write them all over again. Phil's heart had dropped to his gut, hurt and sympathy writhing together in the pit of his stomach. He wished he could take it all away.

    “Thanks,” Dan managed to mumble, as Phil grabbed the final textbook and wiped it off the best he could before placing it in Dan's bag. It was only after standing and glancing up at Dan that Phil noticed the mark on his cheek. A crimson mark under Dan's right eye had already begun to bruise, purple blooming to the surface in a half moon shape. A pang shot through Phil's chest like an arrow. Someone had hit Dan. Someone hit Dan and Phil wasn't there to do anything about it.

    His hand immediately reached out to graze the spot and Dan winced. His injury was already extremely sensitive. It was superficial but Phil knew what would take the longest to heal was the injuries on the inside. The insults and the mockery and the belief that he'd never be good enough. Phil couldn't fix those but he would do his best. He didn't know what to say anymore. Dan stood dejected, shoulders slumped lower than normal, and Phil swore he could see the hole growing in his chest.

    “Dan-” but Phil couldn't get any further. His thoughts rolled over and over in his mind so rapidly that words would not fall from his mouth. Dan picked up his bag from the dirt and hung it over his shoulder.

   “I don't want to talk about it.” Dan's voice came out hoarse and choked, as if he were on the verge of tears. And to be fair, Phil considered, he probably was.

    They walked to Phil's house in grieved silence. Neither of them felt like talking, though Phil longed for mind reading abilities if only to reach into Dan's mind and tell him it would all be okay. But he knew that might be a lie. He didn't know for sure what would and wouldn't be okay at all. Phil wasn't sure of much of anything anymore.

    They reached Phil's house and Dan turned to make it to his own when Phil stopped him, grasping at his arm before he could get too far.

    “Dan, wait!” Dan pivoted, slowly, to face Phil. “Um-” suddenly Phil felt shy, “come with me,” Dan's face contorted in confusion, “the tree, Dan. You're upset. And I don't want to leave you like this.” Dan made no move to follow, but he nodded and let out an,

    “Alright,” before stepping back toward Phil's house.

    They went through the side gate, not even bothering to go inside for fear of Phil's mom seeing Dan's bruise and fussing over them, leaving them no room to talk. Phil got to the oak first, doing his best to get sure footing and pulling himself up onto the broad, low branch they had so often used to have deep conversations on. This space had a special place in Phil's heart and he hoped if he got Dan up here, then maybe he would open up about what happened or at least would talk at all.

    Phil carefully scoot further down the bough to make room for Dan, who was not far behind him. Phil watched Dan's arms flex as he pulled himself up and immediately felt guilt for ogling, but Dan was more athletic than he was and broader and Phil couldn't help but stare. Dan gingerly sat next to Phil, being careful to steady himself against the trunk with one hand. Phil hadn't looked away the entire time. He was mesmerized.

    Dan shuffled to get comfortable and let out a pained sigh. He did not look up. He especially did not look at Phil. Phil felt the hurt in his chest gnarl.

    “It started when I first moved here.” Phil's eyes widened. He didn't expect Dan to open up so immediately.

    “I know I'm the new kid, I was the new kid, but I was hoping it would go better than the last school-” his hands began to wring together, “but I was an easy target so-” and his voice trailed off, timid. He focused his eyes on his lap.

    “It wasn't a big deal, I mean I was used to the names and stuff,” the words squeezed at Phil's heart, “but then it started getting worse but I didn't- I hadn't talked about it because I didn't want to bother anybody. Figured it wasn't a big deal, you know?” He finally glanced up at Phil but only for a second, unable to meet his gaze. He took in a shaky breath.

    “That day you found out- that day you um- saw that, I was terrified because I thought if you knew that you would think-” Dan couldn't finish the sentence. Fat tears began to roll down his hot, scarlet cheeks and he attempted to blink them away but there were too many to hide it.

    “Dan, it's okay,” somehow Phil's hand made it to Dan's back, rubbing consoling circles there, “It’s not fair. It's not fair that they, that anyone would treat you like that. You don't deserve that, ever. And I would never think less of you because of it.”

Dan brought a sleeve to his face and wiped his cheek. Phil wanted to reach out and wipe the tears away himself, but instead brought his hand back to his side.

“Thanks, Phil,” Dan sniffled, hardly a whisper. Phil bumped their shoulders together.

    “ 'course. You're my best friend.” Phil dared to glance up at Dan, eyelids fluttering upwards to Dan's tear-stained cheeks.

But Dan wasn't looking back. His head remained hung, brunet curls covering his eyes, bashfully glancing down at the browning grass below them. His cheeks flushed at Phil's words, and their sides lined up perfectly, pressed against each other, warmth spreading throughout both their chests, but also in their hearts. At least they had each other.

    Phil sighed. If only he could make things better. All he wanted was for Dan to be happy, but how could he do that? He didn't have anything. He couldn't fix what he wanted to. He looked over to Dan's solemn expression.

    “Dan-” his voice quavered, “I'm sorry.” Phil was ready to cry, now, too. Dan finally looked up at him and met his eyes.

    “Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?” Dan's voice was hushed and timid.

    “I wish I-” Phil sucked in a shaky breath, “I keep trying to think of a way that I could help you. Or fix all this. But I can't even though I really really want to.” Phil's face heated at his own honesty. Then a soft, warm hand covered his own in between them. Phil's heart jumped.

    “Phil, you _do_ help.” Dan's fingers curled over Phil's. “Probably more than anything else does.” Both boys had flushed cheeks and Phil felt his heart pick up speed.

 _I actually help? Why is he holding my hand? What did I even do? I don't do anything. How could he say that? Oh my god we're sitting so close I can't even breathe right now._  

    Phil squirmed in his spot on the branch,  being careful not to lose his balance. Their hands were still connected between them.

   “Oh,” was all Phil could mutter.

   “Phil?” Dan's gaze was scorching. He turned to face the beautiful boy, rosy patch on his cheek turning crimson and curls a mess.

    “You're my best friend, too.”

Dan leaned more into Phil and suddenly everything happened all at once.

    As in a dream, Dan leaned forward and connected his lips with Phil's. Phil felt a spark between them as soon as they made contact and his eyes were wide. Once the initial shock wore away, Phil kissed back eagerly, feeling how smooth and warm Dan's lips were, like he imagined them to be, but even better because this was real. Oh my god, this was real. And before Phil could fully process what was happening, Dan had pulled away, eyelids fluttering open, cheeks a new shade of cherry, and smile playing on the lips Phil had just been kissing.

    “How long?” was all that came out of Phil's mouth in that moment. He was beyond shocked and yet relieved.

    “Since the week we met.” Dan looked down and bit his lip.

    “Me, too.”

Dan glanced up again.

    “Why didn't you say anything?” His eyes glowed amber and gold.

    “I thought I would mess everything up. And then we wouldn't be friends anymore. And I couldn't lose you- can't lose you.” The words were choked. Phil felt the anxiety creep into his chest. This was all so new and confusing.

     Phil stared at his feet, swinging beneath him, and waited for a response. Instead, a hand cupped his jaw and he was guided back to Dan's lips. This time Phil could think about every detail of this tender touch. Dan's lips were so warm and inviting, and the hand on the side of his face held him there, firm yet gentle. He tasted like sunshine, pleasant and alluring and they melted together like honey. Phil's hand reached to Dan's side and pulled his waist in, pressing them flush against each other and deepening their second kiss. Dan smiled against Phil's mouth and Phil could only feel Dan in this moment. Nothing- not any of his daydreams during class or imaginings late at night, could compare to this: the real, glowing feeling he felt kissing Dan, and knowing that Dan wanted to kiss him back. Finally, they pulled apart, but Phil's arm remained wrapped around Dan's middle.

    Dan's eyes met Phil's, and Phil felt the butterflies in his stomach flitter like mad. He couldn't believe he had Dan. Dan could be his, now.

    “You won't lose me, Phil.” Dan whispered, as if raising his voice would shatter this moment to pieces. Phil rested his forehead against Dan's.

    “You won't lose me, either.”

And this time, Phil was the one to close the gap, pressing their lips together in harmonious synchronicity.

    

    

 


	2. Something More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after Dan and Phil kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: I was inspired by highschool phan once again and decided to write a little part 2 to this fic :) Hope you enjoy!  
> written based on these prompts:  
> “You look really cute in that sweater.”  
> “Quit smiling at me, I can't stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that.”  
> “Wait, don't pull away! Not yet.”

    The next morning, Phil woke up in a haze, momentarily forgetting all the events of the day before in his groggy morning state. His eyes were puffy and his hair had been pushed up into a less than flattering bedhead. His mouth felt dry.

    Phil's hand reached up to rub the sleep from his eyes and he yawned. When his feet touched the cool, wood floor, Phil shivered a little, only wearing his underwear and a thin red t-shirt. He stumbled out of his bedroom and across the hall to the bathroom to get ready for school. When he splashed cold water to his face, he suddenly thought of Dan. Dan who he had brought to the tree yesterday. Dan who had swirls of chocolate in his eyes and dark fluffy curls and warm lips. All the events of yesterday afternoon flooded back into Phil's mind and he felt a twinge in his stomach as the butterflies traveled to his chest. _Holy shit._

   Dan had kissed him yesterday. And Phil had kissed back. Three times. He wasn't sure what they were anymore or if Dan would regret it all today and want to go back to being just friends. But Phil was sure he wouldn't be able to. Months of tension and brushing hands and bumping shoulders had led to that moment. And Phil wouldn't take it back for the world. But he wondered if Dan would.

    Phil finished getting ready quickly and pulled on a plaid shirt and his usual dark jeans. He glanced in his mirror one last time to fix his fringe before grabbing his backpack and heading down the stairs. He hoped he looked okay. He felt like he needed to look good for Dan especially after yesterday. If he didn't, maybe Dan would get bored of him.

    As Phil made his way into the kitchen, his mom had already set two slices of toast on a plate for him and set the butter on the table. Phil grabbed both pieces and buttered them hurriedly, voraciously stuffing bites of buttered toast into his mouth. He wanted to be early to meet Dan for their walk to school. He was anxious about the moment they'd see each other again. Would it be awkward? Would Dan pretend like nothing had happened? Would they kiss again? He tried to shake the nervous thoughts from his head but he could still feel them in his chest. He chugged down the orange juice his mom had also set out and swung his backpack over his shoulders as he ran out the door, hoping Dan wasn't there first.

    Phil half-jogged down the street to their meeting spot, but as soon as he saw a tall slender figure in black skinny jeans, he slowed down. Dan had beat him there. Maybe they had the same thought to get there early this morning? Phil's breath hitched as he looked Dan up and down, taking his time now to reach him. Dan was wearing a long, black sweater, hands gripping the end of the sleeves into sweater paws, and black skinny jeans clinged to his long legs. His backpack hung off one shoulder and one spot of hair on the back of his head stuck out, refusing to comply with the rest of the curls. Phil smiled to himself. Dan was the cutest boy on Earth, and Phil felt lucky to be so close to him. He finally made it to where Dan stood, looking out across the street.

    “Hey,” Phil greeted bashfully, his voice softened that Dan might not have heard him. But Dan turned around and Phil met his gilded eyes,

    “Hi,” Dan smiled and glanced down. Phil couldn't stop staring at him. Each second he looked, Dan's cheeks darkened with a different shade of pink.

    “Hi,” Phil repeated. _Nice one, idiot_. He scolded himself, but didn't know what else to say. Dan's dimples appeared in his cheeks,

    “I think we went over that already,” he giggled shyly. Phil was at a loss for words where they normally met each other with playful banter.

    “Yeah,” Phil replied distantly, eyes grazing over Dan's fluffed curls, the tawny freckles on his nose, his strong brow, the swirls of his eyes, deep and dark but sparkling like the galaxy. And his lips. His rose lips that he had tasted just yesterday afternoon. Dan squirmed under Phil's intense gaze.

    “What?” He finally got out, red patch on his cheek inflamed more than ever. Phil had to shake himself of his awestruck state. He swallowed,

    “You look really cute in that sweater.” Dan looked up in shock, meeting Phil's cerulean eyes and cheeks turning scarlet. He couldn't handle staring into Phil's face much longer and he had to look down again, bouncing on his feet and shifting his weight back and forth. Phil gulped when he realized he could have messed things up. All this pent up nervous energy was now radiating from Dan and he worried he said something wrong. Phil wanted to reach out and touch him already, but restrained for the time being. Phil blurted,

    “Sorry, I just-”

    “No, no it's okay, you just-” Dan inched closer and giggled nervously, “caught me off guard a little.” They both began to giggle and the tense air between them cracked. It was silly, all this time of never being nervous and shy around each other and all of a sudden neither of the boys knew what to say. Yesterday had changed everything.

    They began to walk and Dan bumped his shoulder to Phil's; they both felt each other's warmth from how close they walked next to each other, but that wasn't any different than they had done before. The real difference was Dan bumping his hand against Phil's three times before Phil got the hint and took Dan's hand in his. He held on tight to Dan's hand until they got close enough to the school, where they broke apart and said a flustered goodbye to make it to their classes on time.

~~~

    Phil practically ran down the hall, the best he could with a crowd of people around him, to find Dan at his locker. He had just gotten out of math class and he couldn't get Dan off of his mind. Phil honestly had no idea what the lesson was today as he couldn't stop thinking about their kiss and holding hands this morning and how cute Dan was when he wore big giant sweaters. They didn't have any classes together this semester and the only time Phil had to see him at all when they weren't on opposite sides of the school was between math and English. Knowing this was his only opportunity to see Dan the rest of the school day, he was in a rush to find him.

    Being taller than most kids, Phil at least had an advantage. He immediately saw a familiar brunet head of waves as he turned the corner, racing to meet Dan as he got another book from his locker.

    “Dan!” Phil called breathlessly as he had nearly reached him. Dan spun around at the sound of Phil's voice.

    “Phil? What are you doing over here? Your class is on the other side of the building!” And noticing Phil panting and sweat beginning to form on his forehead, he added, “Oh my _god_ , Phil, did you _run_ over here?”

Phil took a moment to breathe, resting his palms on his knees and bending down. He finally found words to answer with.

    “I knew I wouldn't see you again until after school.” Dan blinked, not understanding what was going on.

    “Wha- Phil- You _ran_ all the way over here,” Phil nodded, “because you wanted to see me?” Phil stood up straight again and stepped closer, nodding again. “But Phil, I don't- is there something wrong?” Dan's face flashed concern. Phil shook his head vigorously and finally answered,

    “I forgot to give you something this morning.” Dan's brows furrowed; what would Phil have forgotten? Phil looked around the hall, most everyone had scattered off to class now, and he deemed it safe for what he was about to do. Without thinking any further, Phil lunged forward and kissed Dan's cheek, his nose bopping Dan's cheekbone in the process. Dan's eyes grew wide and his cheeks burned immediately. Phil ran here just to give him a kiss? And he wanted to see him?

The obnoxious ring of the tardy bell interrupted, and Phil smiled,

    “Oops, gotta go!” His smile beamed and found its way into Dan's heart, warming it. Phil ran around the corner again, leaving a blushing, flustered Dan to stare after him. Dan's hand came up to his cheek where the ghost of the soft touch of Phil's lips still lingered. His mouth hung open and for a few moments he forgot what he was doing. Then reality splashed down onto him and he quickly slammed his locker shut and ran down the hall to his next class.

~~~

    Phil ran down the hall again. He promised himself yesterday that he would never let Dan wait for him outside on his own again. It was too risky and he didn't want to see Dan get hurt. Ever. And even though he couldn't fix everything, he could at least try to protect Dan.

    Phil huffed as he maneuvered around all the slow walkers and groups of people in the hall, holding his backpack straps to secure his bag to his back and turning the corner to meet Dan at his locker. But as he slowed down to a brisk walk, he found that Dan was not there. Did Phil get there that fast? Did Dan already leave the building? He glanced around for rosy round cheeks and silky curls and a tall, lean figure in all black. Phil decided to lean against the cool metal of the locker while he waited, scanning over students’ heads to find the only one that really mattered. He also needed to catch his breath, lungs burning from the spontaneous exercise.

    A mere minute later, Phil spotted him. His head was down in focus, one hand gripping a black strap loosely hanging around one shoulder. As he got closer, he nearly ran into Phil, looking up to see who stood in the way of his locker.

    “Wha- oh, Phil? You're here? But-” Dan's eyes shifted left and right in confusion. “Did you get out of class early?”

Phil sidestepped to allow Dan access to his locker and leaned his side into the old metal, facing Dan. “I got over here as fast as I could.”

Dan looked up a second time, still not understanding. Phil cleared his throat,

    “I um, didn't want to- uh- you know when you're alone out there-” Phil's throat seemed to close and his tongue felt heavy, “I wanted to walk out with you.” He looked up to gauge Dan's reaction to find him nervously fumbling in his backpack to avoid the subject. He finally zipped up the bag and managed to meet Phil's eyes.

   “Phil,” he sighed, “you don't have to protect me. I'm fine. Besides,” he shrugged, “it's not like you're my-” The patch on his cheek appeared and he averted his eyes to anywhere but Phil. _My what?_ Phil thought. _My boyfriend?_ Neither of them wanted to start that conversation so Phil broke the awkward pause.

    “I know, I just didn't want to make you wait, that's all.” His cheeks felt hot and he wasn't sure if he would ever get over the queasy, fluttering feeling he had when Dan was around.

    Dan nodded in acknowledgement and turned to walk outside, Phil following close behind.

~~~

    “Oh I forgot to ask you earlier,” Phil started, hand comfortably wrapped around Dan's on their trek home, “can you help me with my speech for tomorrow? I'm so nervous and you're better at speaking than I am, anyway.”

   “Hey are you implying I talk too much?” Dan nudged his shoulder into Phil's. Phil's cheeks warmed at the playful gesture.

    “Shut up,” he mumbled, smile spreading across his lips, “you _know_ what I meant.”

Dan released his hand from Phil's and feigned offense, hand coming up to meet his chest.

    “ _Do I know that?_ ” He teased, facing Phil. Phil's hand shoved Dan's chest gently, pushing him back only a few inches.

    “Dan! You know that's not what I meant, you rat!” Dan lightly pushed him back.

    “And to think I _trusted_ you!” Dan's voice rose as he teased more relentlessly. He walked backwards, facing Phil.

    “Looks like you'll have to find a new best friend, then.” Phil could play, this, too.

    “I'm starting tomorrow. First candidate is that kid in my math class who always falls asleep. He's brilliant,” Dan's smirk cracked into a little smile as Phil made a mock expression of offense. Phil caught up to Dan and bumped their shoulders again.

     “You dick,” he giggled. Dan followed, their airy chuckles sounding between them the rest of the way home.

~~~

    “‘Logical thinking is the- is the key to understanding-,’” Phil shook his head, “‘grasping the truth and being able to, to-’ um, sorry,” Phil's eyes squeezed shut at his mistake.

He stood in front of Dan, who laid on the bed on his side, propped up by an elbow, speech in hand.

    “It's ‘being able to detect mistakes,’ but that was good!” Phil shook his head again.

    “You're just saying that.” Phil always ended up stumbling during his speeches, and it didn't help that Dan was sprawled in front of him in a classic “draw me like one of your French girls” fashion and his eyes wandered from the page and started staring. Phil couldn't focus.

    “I'm not!” Dan protested, “you're doing great, Phil, just run it from the top.”

    “Alright, theater buff,” Phil mumbled under his breath.

    “What?”

    “Nothing, I'm gonna start from the beginning.” Dan smirked, not quite believing that Phil hadn't just slighted him in some way. Phil attempted to clear his throat.

    “What is logic? Logic is the principle of-” but there were Dan's wandering, enticing eyes again. He gazed up at Phil, stars in his mysterious, midnight and gold irises. There was a smile in his eyes and he licked his lips and the corners of his pink mouth tugged upwards. Phil tried to continue his speech, but Dan was so damn distracting, eyes traveling up and down Phil's form. His cheeks darkened as he stumbled over the next line,

   “the principle of, of reasoning and-” He couldn't take it anymore. “Quit smiling at me, I can't stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that.”

   Dan's smile only brightened.

   “Sorry! It's not my fault you're so-” Dan's cheeks were doing some darkening, as well, “you're so,” he bit his lip, “I don't know.”

Phil crossed his arms,

    “Well you're so-” but he couldn't continue, either. He looked down into Dan's now blushed face, eyes swirling with fondness, and all he wanted was to tackle him on the bed and kiss him breathless. He had never felt so impulsive in his life. Not even when he and Dan had nearly kissed all those other times. He stepped forward and heard a miniature gasp from Dan in anticipation.

   Phil lunged forward and tackled Dan on the mattress, earning a winded huff from Dan at the sudden weight on top of him.

    “Phil!” But Phil didn't let up, he laid on top of Dan and leaned his face as close to Dan's as possible without actually kissing him. Dan's eyes grew wide, waiting for Phil to make the next move. But instead of closing what was left of the gap between them, Phil's hands wandered to Dan's sides, suddenly subjecting him to an onslaught of tickling.

   Dan shrieked, trying to block Phil's hands with his own to no avail, and instead reaching up to flip them over, towering over Phil and digging into his sides in retaliation. Phil giggled breathlessly.

    “Dan! Dan, Dan stop! Ah!”

    “Oh, what? I'm just giving you a taste of your own medicine,” Dan teased. Phil shook his head,

    “Oh I am _so_ getting you back!” Phil laughed. His arms reached out to Dan's side, but Dan blocked him.

    “Nice try, Lester!”

    “Awe!” Phil whined. But then he had a thought. He reached his arm up again, but this time tickling along Dan's neck. Dan shrieked immediately, shoulder coming up to his ear. He toppled to Phil's side in shock.

    “ _heehee_!” Phil pointed at him, “I got you!”

    “Phil! You _know_ I have a problem with that!” But Dan's eyes were still sparkled in amusement. Phil turned to his side to face him,

    “I won, though!” He poked Dan's side,

“Lester: 1, Howell: none!” Dan giggled,

    “You absolute-” he sputtered.

    “Absolute _what_?” Phil taunted. “I win, I win,” and he reached down to tickle Dan's middle again. Dan shifted back.

    “Pff Phil!” He pointed into Phil's smug expression, “no!” Phil only giggled again in response. Their laughter died down and Phil blushed as he realized they were lying in his bed together. _Oh_.

    Dan seemed to have the same realization. As Phil turned his head, he saw Dan's cheeks were now cherry red, patch on his cheek as bright as a caution sign. Needing to fill the silence or make the air less tense, something, anything, Phil reached his hand up to brush the spot on Dan's cheek. Dan subconsciously leaned into Phil's touch.

    “This is cute,” Phil mused, fingertip tracing the rosy patch. Dan's blush only deepened.

    “Yeah?” He asked, tone sheepish. Phil leaned in and placed a light kiss to the spot.

    “Yeah.”

    They laid there in comforting silence, the only sound their panting breaths from tackling each other. Phil's eyes were searching Dan's. He didn't know what any of this meant. One day he and Dan were just friends and too afraid to make a move and now they were openly flirting and having tickle fights and lying on Phil's bed, blushing more than ever. And Phil _really_ liked Dan. He knew now that Dan liked him back, but his anxious mind still made him skeptical. What reason did Dan have for even liking him at all?

    “Phil?” Dan's low, soft voice interrupted. “What're you thinking about?” Dan's eyes were all wonder and beauty. Phil's heart skipped a beat.

    “You,” he answered honestly. No use in lying now.

    “Me, too,” Dan whispered, “but, for you. Obviously.” Phil smiled.

    “Phil?”

    “Hm?”

    “Can I kiss you again?”

    “Okay.”

    Dan leaned in and their lips touched as Phil met him in the middle. Phil once again tasted the sweet pleasure that was Dan's lips and he hummed in contentment. Suddenly feeling brave, Phil's hand settled on the small of Dan's back, drawing him closer. He heard Dan suck in a breath at the small gesture and he pushed further, allowing the kiss to deepen. Dan placed a hand to Phil's jaw, holding him there. Phil felt warm. As if a fireplace on a snowy, stormy evening was alight in his heart and he could smell cookies in the oven and his grandmother was making her famous chicken soup. Warm like huddling under a heated blanket after building a snowman all afternoon. Like melted marshmallows in a hot chocolate, a knitted scarf being wrapped lovingly around your neck, a hug from someone you love. He hoped Dan was feeling this too.

    Phil sucked in a little, catching Dan's bottom lip and nibbling it. Dan only leaned further into him, catching Phil's top lip and licking into it. Phil's stomach turned and he began to pull back. He didn't want this to go too far, too quickly. He didn't even know if they had a name for this. Their first kiss was only yesterday.

    “Wait, don't pull away!” Dan suddenly pleaded. “Not yet.” He leaned his forehead against Phil's and Phil remained close. Their noses were nearly touching.

    “Okay,” Phil promised. He was just scared, but that didn't mean he wanted this moment to end. Dan sighed.

    “I just want to make sure I remember this exactly.” His eyes met Phil's. “I'm afraid that it's too good to be true and it'll all disappear as soon as I wake up,” Dan admitted.

    “But we're both awake,” Phil reasoned, “and I'm not going anywhere.” Dan let out another wistful sigh. Always the dramatic, Phil thought. But he loved it.

   “Phil,” Dan took in a deep breath, “I really really like you. And I don't know what to do.” Phil laughed nervously,

    “What do you mean you don't know what to do?”

Dan shuffled under his questioning gaze.

   “I mean- I don't know! I don't know.” Dan turned onto his back and rested his hand on his stomach. Phil scooted closer again.

    “Dan, tell me.” He poked Dan's cheek where his deepest dimple was. “C'mon. It's still just me, remember?”

Dan nodded slowly.

    “I don't want you to think I'm too clingy or annoying or something. Like eventually you're gonna get annoyed with me and change your mind. And I'm scared to even call this something if it is a something, which I'm hoping it is but if you're just gonna reject me eventually then might as well just give up now, right?” Dan's anxiousness caught up to him and he rambled a bit too much, but Phil listened anyway. Phil took Dan's hand in his.

   “Dan,” he said in a nearly scolding tone, “I'm still your best friend no matter what. But I really really like you, too.” He kissed Dan's cheek again. Dan's face finally turned back to look at Phil and they kissed. Sweet and smooth and simple. And Phil felt he would never tire of this feeling. Phil pulled away first.

    “Dan?”

Dan looked up at him through thick lashes.

    “We don't have to call this anything, if you don't want.” Phil propped his head up, leaning over Dan. “I just like spending time with you.”

Dan nodded, and then smiled, dimples imprinting his cheeks. Dimples that Phil would kiss if they weren't talking about something kind of important at the moment.

   “Okay.”

   “Maybe ‘okay’ will be our always,” Phil smirked, erupting in giggles, earning a hearty shove to the arm and Dan's exasperated “shut up” before he pushed Phil into the bed and kissed him again. It was the start of something neither Dan nor Phil had a label for, but what mattered was that they were together. Best friends. Crushes. And now, something even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: Thank you for reading! I love kudos and comments, don't be shy ;)  
> [follow my dnp blog](https://danandphilwhomst.tumblr.com/) :) <3

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me :) Kudos and comments are greatly loved and appreciated!  
> [follow](https://danandphilwhomst.tumblr.com/) my dnp blog <3


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